Meeting Winter On Her First Day...

Cold, crisp and fragile white.
Like frosting on the cake,
like sugar on the doughnut...

I really shouldn't like you.
You make my day a pain.
In this season of too many layers...

Yet, you suck me in with brilliance,
and romance me with nostalgia.
Glittering like fairydust from some forgotten place...

So, for today.
And only for today...

I will glory in your whiteness.
I will dance upon the shine.
I will smile at the face of winter and kiss her once.

I see her beauty, I know her grace.
I fear her power and her moods.
Lovely yes, but cold, oh so cold...

I bow to her and she to me.
Respect, I have given it as I should.
But go now, your just too cold...

My faith? Now where did I put that?

Faith? What is it that I believe today?
You see, sometimes it changes. Is it me? Or has my God taken a lunch break?
I read, I study and I pray...
Yet the story seems more and more and more and more...

Or maybe I loose something in the translation.
Did I even pick up the right book?
Does the Divine speak from these pages?
Is there Truth to be found among the ink?

History and legend ,
myth and fact, these drops of wisdom...
Can I be trusted to find an answer?
What is really there in these voices out of the past.

Yet, even as I doubt...
Even as I scoff...
I turn and read and study.
Maybe in hope, maybe in frustration.

These books of sorrow and joy.
Stories of goodness and rules of cruelty.
Confusion made readable, dusty and outdated...
And yet...

As I flip though these pages I find Light.
Voices of Love.
Songs of Truth.
Reasons to dig up my faith and breath new life into it...

So, once again I hunt the words.
I stir the pages.
I open the books that will make me redefine.
And thus, keep my faith.

All I can see...

Its the need.
SO much more then a want...

You eclipse everything else I hold dear.
I have set you higher then all else.
You demand, I reply in ecstasy.
For all I can see is you...

Over the fields of pain,
over the broken sunsets of life,
over time spent in useless desire.
There seems to be only one truth...

The song sings it best:
"Anyway you are, I'll be wanting you."

I need no explanation,
there is nothing to say.
You just are.

Why?

Cutting
and swift...

You lied.
You lied to me?
Why?

Holding my trust, as you do...
it seems an odd thing to do?

Truth, sometimes is cold.
And as I look into your eyes,
I have to wonder...

Why?

Balance the 2...

"Broken, but still good..."
The voice echos in my head.
This is my life you see, not just a Disney documentary.

Like Pretty in Pink?
Or maybe....
I have a happy ending?
Right?

(Should I?)

All things considered I wonder at what my karma brings...
I screwed it up...
I failed and ran away...
but?

I moved, I tried, I loved...
So much built up and
so much torn down.
I balance the 2...

At my greatness I shine and
at my failures...
Well we all saw that.

So wanting more I move into today...
(Really, what choice do I have?)
Just reaching for hope,
I find it there...
This how I was hoping the movie would end...

Driver, let me out here...

The smile is posted so everyone can see.
I sit back and just let the driver take me there.
It's easy you see...

I would fight,
I would complain,
I would just give up, but...

Life changes each time.
Good or bad, it changes and so I move...

In fighting I ended up kissing the unavoidable.
In complaining, I ended up yelling at the silence.
In giving up I got pounded against rocks of fate...

So now I laugh...

The driver takes me there.
And where ever there is,
I will make do.
It's easy you see...

Love? I think not...

Punch drunk and slapped silly
As they told me I would be...
I stepped off the cliff and fell into the insanity,
that is you...

I was warned. I was told.
But thinking I was stronger then steel,
I broke like glass...

I can still hear you laughing
I see your smile
I can smell your touch
I taste your anger...

What moved me to this moment?
What flaw drew me to you?
what do I do now?

Trapped like the fly in the web.
I await your arrival here once again,
you will drain me dry
and leave me for dead...

(With a smile on your face)

They told me this would happen
and as I scream your name.
I see they were right...