Her Cold!

I hate her...
Winter, and today it snowed!
Mockingly she she smiles as to say how beautiful the snow fall is.
Knowing all along that I despise her cold!

She laughs, this is her time.
And I can not.
It just is...

The wheel turns and all is as it should be, but...
I tremble in her cold.
And shiver in her might.

At last I bow and give into her cold...

This is not by chance.
For Gods sake it is January anyway.
So I layer up and cope with She who is way too COLD!

Ways and Means....

I can feel my pulse.
So after all is said, I guess I am still alive...

Not morbid, this longing to understand my insanity.
Just a need to clarify.
You see...
Craziness runs deep here in my neck of the woods.
I come by it honestly.

So...
In silence I listen to the voices.
(Not the ones in my head, their nuts!)
The others in my world, who share...
Those who gently prod and push me towards hope.
And maybe joy...

Longing to come to an understanding of the ways and means of all I do.
I feast upon your logic and wisdom.
Shared with caring and love.

You will never grasp how much it means.
How sane it keeps me.
So I give thanks and slip into the silence so I can listen once more...

Feeling the Pull....

There was a twisting you see.
Something more than yesterday...
I fall, yet have no where to land!

Wait...
I've done this before.

Logically, I have have fixated upon that which I feared the most.
Gravity has pulled me here.
Or was it longing?
I can never tell...

But the feeling is stronger now...
This wanting and need.
It pulls and tugs until denying it seems ludicrous.
So down I go...

Having pretended that it's not a need has failed.
Apparent, that has become.
So all is left is the falling and excepting the inevitable...

Trusting in the fall will have to do for now.
It's all I have.
That and the hope that landing will be all it's cracked up to be...

Fear of Falling...

Stepping into chaos,
and skipping to the Left.
I am not the same...

(Maybe I never was...)

My longings merge to create a life of substance and passion.
Oh the things I was denied.
Being as I am, there was no where else to go?
Trapped by my wants and needs,
I stumble towards a sunrise...

But I fear the fall...

So
at last
I let go...

And become but a feather in the wind.
tumbling
falling
set free to be as all I was....

It is not as bad as it seemed.