Up And Running

Slip, trip and come up running...

Twice?

Well, yes it did happen... I so wanted it to work, to be real...
Yet trying to be Blue,
when you really are Pink is insanity...

So I run...

Looking forward to the next slip....

Still The Same

Wishing my way forward
trying to go on
wondering at the whys and the hows

sometimes I can almost see my truth

trapped but
not wanting rescue

so much is still the same...

so I can see it....

I stepped on solid, i guess that is reason....
so is the reality of stone....
what i want is a awnser but still the wind sounds empty

wrong,...

you have awnsered others... why make me wait?

YOU still think I need you

but stillness is quick
and death is silent...

will they miss me
maybe....

What was I looking for?

3 days in and still it's foggy...
What was I looking for?
I need you but can't tell you I do...
What was I looking for?
It is all around me
and yet it is untouchable...
What was I looking for?
In passion I wait, in the old way of this word...
Seeking something, wanting and waiting...
What was I looking for?

Tonight I saw you...

You leave me cold.
I am not sure that was your intentions,
but still.
You sit up there telling me that the time is at last upon us.
The ice forms, and the leaves fall...
You know...
When at last you return,
I am so excited to see you.
It's always such a surprise...
Then you appear earlier
and earlier...
Then it seems I see you everyday.
And by then the excitement is gone...
I know too, that your time with me is planned down to the second...
That you won't over stay.
Yet it always feels like its longer,
every damn time!
But then I won't see you...
Or only catch you at odd times...
Then Orion, you are gone...
And I am warm once more...

So nothing happens

Moving past that...
OK, not really
was thinking about it
but then never really got around
to doing it...
The fact is, I enjoy it...
and hate it...
so nothing happens.
Moving forward is frighting...
Standing still...
just as scary.
So I think about it some more...

Feeding the Emptyness

I am at a loss your see... There is this place, in my heart or in my head and I am not sure which. But it stands empty and needs to be filled. What is missing? I have filled it with faith and I have filled it with passion... I have filled it with anger and drunkenness... I have tried love and sorrow, pain and joy... But all of it just runs through, leaving me empty once more. What is missing? I have feared this emptiness and ran from it... But now, there is no where to run and I am left alone with my empty fears. What is missing? So at long last I turn and step into the space that is empty and find that what is missing is real myself. It is me that I fear, it is me that is lost and it is me that I need. It is me that I have found.