What I see now?

Lush and daring it seemed, this moving forward...
Like moonlight on water, like salt upon the wound.

Lightly
and with sudden hast
the need to change becomes.
More then I bargined for...

Truth be told, I never wanted this...

Or maybe I did.

You hold me still...

Static and yet so meaningful,
like the first light of dawn...
Like broken seashells that no one wants
but can't quite throw away...

You hold me still...

Flashpoint.
Moonbeams.
And the story of the angry unicorn...
And even these things to shall pass.

You hold me still...

Pulled so tight to the point of ecstasy
and snapped like a spider's web.
What is it that you want?
What is it that I need?

You hold me still...

So, traveling like a rock on water.
Skip, skip, skip and sink...
You set like the sun.
And all I see is night.

You hold me still...

On, all the time...

It runs, over and over again.
like a song you can't stand. yet you hear once more.
This spinning wheel on my brain...

It tells me things.
Like....

"You failed, you know..."
"What were you thinking?"
"Well... That was stupid..."

Its on repeat, its on replay.
Hell, its just ON...
All the time.....

The wheel spins so much that at times
it hurts to be.
This clanging in my head.
This kicking of my soul...

Yet, after all this time.
I fear it is the only voice I know...

Trusting

Trust
well it seems so simple
(but it never is)

The pain is fresh and the hurt...

Well the hurt standing waiting.

I wanted it to be the same
but Change had a different agenda...

So my trust lay shattered.

It is lonely where I am.
You went a different way then promised...

(so now where is it that I go?)

Rebuilding and remaking and retrusting.
so simply said...
so hard to do...

But step by step,
and smile by smile,
at last I make it grow again.

What I have made....

There was a child once I knew
who made gods and wizards blush...

Who forged legends with his words
and made magic out of mud and bark...

Fighting dragons and rabbits and sisters and wasps
he passed the day and dreamed away the night...

He went somewhere?

I have to find him.

For his work is unfinished and the dragons want him back...
The wizards miss his words and
the rabbits can not dance....

The yard seems so empty and the rainbow will not come...
Music is so silent, and the candy remains uneaten...

I have to find him...

He is somewhere lost with in the mist...
There is so much more joy to share...
So many more dreams to make...

I have to find him...
And as last, finish what I have made.