I use to care and hope but...
The tears have dried.
Trying to find a way in, I stood knocking at your door.
There was no one there.
So...
I moved on into the bright and shiny now.
Wanting it to be different won't change the pain.
My love for you beated on a door unopened.
The piles of all our hopes are scattered like last fall's leaves.
My sibling still knocks.
I stand in the cold knowing she has come in vain once again.
But still she knocks...
Her heart is strong and large.
She will knock and knock again...
But the door will not open.
Many have tried and failed, she is not alone.
Sometime, I fear this door was locked,
long before I got here.
Damaged as it was,
in some past place I know nothing about.
And then I wonder if I only knock louder it might finally open?
Maybe this time I will be heard.
Maybe this time the door will open.
But...
It does not.
I use to care and hope but...
The tears have dried.
Most people who have faced a losing battle will reach this point sooner or later, the point of losing hope. Hope is one of the most wonderful things to have, the hardest thing to give up, and most painful thing to lose. Losing hope and moving on is the final stage of the grieving process, so things will feel better from here on out, even if things in real life get worse. Good luck, and take care of yourself.
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