Twisted Grin

There is fire behind your eyes.
Add to the twisted grin,
pointed nose, I smile.
Seeing you, heralds the end of warmth.
But the beginning of the holidays.
So smile on,
you scary orange friend.
And I will do the same...

The Wild Hunt

I hear the ancient call

of the wild hunt.

Oh, to be shadow filled once more

and drink wild moonlight.

To kiss the stars

and fight with an angry sun.

Songs of battles and war

sing off my tongue

as spiders and trees join the chorus.

I am one with Earth and Sky.

I am Hunter and Prey.

I am Death and Salvation.

Now to make love to a sky

and reluctant moon,

before taking my place in the

wild hunt.

Fleeing the dawn, 

I follow the winds and the scent

of promise.

And with the call of horn 

and hoof,

I will ride the night

till only the darkness and I 

remain...

Make Do...

I am handling well...

(or at least for now it seems)

Same old same old

tragic as it seems.

My wants and needs are unknown.

Focus...

Is in restoring you back to you being you.

The reality of all of this

is

it will all just happen again.

Unavoidable

The tragedy of all this is that it was

avoidable...

And yet not!

Patterns and weaves of fate were

fashioned long before 

I arrived on the scene.

In all of this Love is not even enough.

Just a reminder of another

failure.

My wants and needs are left wanting.

So we make do.

Attempting to heal the shell.

With the motion I go,

holding dear to what sanity I can.

And helping the rest do the same.

If only I could heal you?

But this an empty wish.

So we, once again

make do...

That's all I and others have left!

Make do...

Once again, we just make do.

And we handle it well...

This time?

Tripped up as I was
by your wellbeing.
Sadly, I mistaked it for so much more.
Is this real, this time?
Or just me,
being me...
Passion it was but,
Meaningless I fear.
So empty I sip my cup
while wishing you never came...

While You Decide

Wake me up!
I have dreamed to long...
Or is this waking?

Trapped in other people's visions
and nightmares has left me
empty...
So I choose to be something else.

Skipping forward into now.
I'm less likely to snap and go mad.
Shaking loose the weight
of your troubles leaves me free.

You mistake this for uncaring
for unfeeling or emptiness.
But, wrong you are.
All I have done is let you go...
I have only control over myself.
You will do and be
as you see fit...

As always, I am there for you.
But having let go of the worry.
My hopes and prayers go with you,
now and forever.
But no longer will I wait...
No longer will I put myself
on hold while you decide.
No longer will I share the nightmares
you hold so dear...

I have my own dreams.
(and my own nightmares)
And I must follow them...
I have awakened!
And can only hope that you will
do likewise...

My Heart In Steel

It's been awhile...
So long
that I can't even tell you when.
Yet...
Not long enough!
The pain still burns
and the hurt lingers still.
As the bringer of chaos and disilliousion,
your return is more then disquieting.
I severed those bonds years ago.
In the hopes of peace.
Cutting them nearly killed me,
So the thought of revisiting
all this once more, leaves me screaming.
You come in peace,
or so you say...
But sadly, you have never known
what that means.
So I surround my heart in steel
and iron.
And with shield and sword in hand,
go forth to meet you once more.

Stop Echoing

It's happening again...

My eyes close in exhaustion
     and the voices return.
"Why, Why, Why", they chant.
     And once again I answer,
in screams of "I don't know!".

My eyes open,
     Seeing only dark and more night.
This is not the way I planned
     my evening.
Then again, this is not the way I
     planned my Life!

Restless and alone,
     I close my eyes to try again.
Wishing for sleep,
     for answers,
for my dreams to stop
     Echoing my days.

It's happening again...

Breathe As One

Waiting in the dark,
the silence listens to me breathe.
My eyes flutter open.
And for just a second,
I think I see it there...

Gone again.
Was I dreaming?

Yet as I close my eyes,
and sleep returns.
I hear us breathe as one...

These "Children" Of Mine

"I must create a system,
or be enslaved by another man's;
I will not reason and compare:
my business is to create."
-Blake

I grasp at it...
This idea that floats shadowy like
through my brain. 

I can feel it.
Almost see it, there waiting to be...

I am it's creator.
Be it Divine spark 
or complex chemical process;
this concept comes 
to life.

Blessed as I am with this gift.
(or cursed)
I am the maker.

I am warrior of paint, wood, clay,
ink and words...
Fighting for the lives of those
hiding in my soul.

They haunt my day.
(and flood my dreams with wants)
"Give us life!", I hear them scream.
From the mundane,
to the complex.
Their wants are here, demanding reality.

In laziness or idleness or simply 
the lack of time.
I have lost a few...
Death comes and takes them.
As surely as she will come someday
for me.

With lesson learned,
now I gather the seeds 
and hold them near my heart.
A quick note, sketch, a few typed words.
Till a time of growth 
and harvest.

These "children" of mine.
My thoughts and wants, made real.
Visible, at last to all 
as I send them out into the universe.
Are at last made safe,
and my soul is at last at ease.

(At least, till the birth of 
yet another.)

In all of this, 
I am the creator.
And about my business,
I must be...

Know The Winds

Alone...

As I am whispering to

the wind. 

This emptiness I fear

(but crave)

Becomes more and more pronounced.

Did I frighten you in

someway?

Or is this a craving of your own.

The wind answers with

more emptiness.

Returning me to this place we have

mutually created.

Yet...

Alone, I have been before,

so I know the winds.

And will hear them sing their songless 

music once more.

How is it that you will fair?

Is Missing

I stare at the wood floor...
Like it will give me a answer?
What was it I was looking for in the first place?
Maybe it was sex...
Or love?
Something is missing,
and it's not my phone...
(I keep losing it, damn it!!)
What???
I marvel at the passion others share.
Wondering what I did wrong?
Yet...
No and Yes are there.
So I step forward into...
What?
So I sleep and push it off till
tomorrow.
The floor still won't give me
an answer.

Unrepairable

Distilled down to the basics of anguish.
Sorry I am...

Yet, my heart is broken under
the weight of your pain.
Words thrown like stones or forged metal.
There is silence, that sounds so loud!
Shattered, what was forever.
Left with memories of what might have been.
Your battles cut and scar...

Do you
really know what it is you do?
To others and yourself?

Screaming, I move to do something?
Fix?
The unrepairable?
I can not...
And sadly, neither can you.

So all there is left is to...

Step into now.
Yesterday is dead and gone!?!
Today is all you have!

Those others that depend on you?
Step strong!
Be mighty and more then you can be...
Amazing, you are!

Sorry once again...
I wish I could heal?
I want to repair?
But life is yours...
To do with as you see fit?
Please choose well,