This tripping up and falling
removes me from play.
(It's the escape I use most often.)
Longing as I was for Love,
I mistakenly take the Other...
I am not alone in this.
Pondering the ways and means
of all of this makes for more
of the same.
I move to stand still.
I map my way so that I am lost
once more.
I fly high and free,
hunting for the chains that bind...
Rejoicing in my triumphant
failures...
I am not alone in this.
In strict disregard for what
I want.
I march steadfastly into the brink.
To explain it to you would be
all but impossible...
(I can't do that, even for myself.)
So I just open the window
and jump...
I am not alone in this.
Craving, as I do an end to this
I sit in silence; awaiting
the noise.
You see, it's out there waiting.
This "thing" I seek...
And I will not rest till I have
found it.
Captured it.
And made it mine...
I know how you feel. We are the same. When you are raised by a narcissistic mother it becomes all about her and "you" never get raised. She needs you to feed off of, her "source". Please know how you feel didn't come from you...it came because of what the people around you did to you. You are a perfect boy. Nothing is wrong with you. You just need some unconditional love just for you that isn't wrapped up in the needs of your mother. Remember, she was the mother, you the son. You were not the mother and her the daughter.
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