Carry What Joy?

So this is not my week...
Destined as it was for chaos and heartbreak.
It all builds and builds,
making it harder and harder to find the Joy.
My own pain is but a reflection
of those who suffer more...
I want to fix your pain!
Those of you, I love so much.
To strip clean the sadness and anguish.
Making light, out of the dark.
Yet...
It isn't ment to be.
So as you cry, I will hold you still.
The emptiness and lose I will attempt to fill.
Longing, as I do...
For peace to find you.
I will try and carry what Joy I have,
and leave it at your door.
It's all I have.
It's all I can do.
And I pray it is enough to get you through.,,

Ride To Battle

You are the warrior. 

Here among the anger and sorrow.

Battling through pain, anguish and failure...

I see you Shine!

Your heart beats not only for you,

but seemingly keeps others alive as well.

Your love and caring

is that Strong!

Stretched way past your limits,

You keep giving still.

So intensely gifted is your 

compassion, time and soul.

Disappointment rises yet again

and you ride to battle.

Defeat is not an option!

In awe I feebly attempt to assist.

I polish the shield,

I sharpen the sword

and I cheer you on from the sidelines.

Yet, all know

It is You who wields the weapon.

It is You who leads the charge!

Your battle cry is silent,

but heard by all who know.

And with a mighty heart

and a bright soul,

You charge yet again into 

the dark!

(For Melissa, my family's warrior)

Dressed In Red...

Tonight you danced...
Dressed in red, as to match your warlike partner.
Sister of the lesser light.
Oh, how stunning you were to behold.
This celestial waltz of changing light...
From bright to dark,
and then back again to your amazing splendor!
With Spica standing guard, you marked your time.
I witness all of this Earth bond and small.
Yet to night you shared with me your changing secrets.
And I, for one,
am better for it...

Reclaim My Listening

I have a longing to reclaim my listening.
     The sounds of all I am missing.
Somewhere I had lost the songs of Love.
      Frequencies of Joy,
            pitched with decibels of Sorrow.
To pull back through the noise
            to find the rhythms of peace.
      All of these harmonies call out to me
and echo lovingly with want.
       Pulsing with reason through the medium
             of Air and Light,
finally comes the music I was missing.
       Abounding with a range of sounds
              awashed with perfect pitch,
                      fills me with
       resonating understanding.
The acoustics of all this, restores my purpose.
       So while I hear the beat of heart and soul,
set to the cadence of Life,
       I reclaim the lost sounds.
        And at long last,
sit and listen to the longing on the wind...

Adopting Failure...

It's late...
as I sit here alone, the epiphany comes
and goes.
I was taught to adopt failure.
Given
(as I was)
In the hopes that there was hope.
A better future.

It did not happen.

The slow anger that builds.
The failures of the past.
Unspoken complicity of the unlooking...
And the amazing care of those who tried!

Adopted the ways and failures of others.
Fearing myself as I did.
What choice did I have?
Childhood can last forever...
And the death I longed for never came.
You said you loved???

So I am here adopting
all that is different then the past.
Lucky and blessed,
as I am to have those who did care.
I will adopt you...
Those who have shown me Light.
Sisters, cousins, aunts, grandma's...
Uncles and dear friends who took me as I am....

I have failed.
Oh, Yes I have!
But I move on....
It is I who choose what it is that I adopt.
And I adopt...
LOVE

Simply Put...

Tripped up and speared.
Staring my way through things, in the hopes of feeling my way.
Simply put, is nothing of the sort.
Gathered all into my eyes, tasting the Fear and Joy.
All this just is...
Holding on to the letting go,
just seems like the thing to finally do...

Unhinged...

Broken slowly,
ever so slowly...
Like chips of plaster.
      Like iron rusting in the field.
             Like watching ice form across the pond.
I ignored it at first,
blowing it under the wind.
Looking the other way.
But, and yet...
Still the unhinged became.
Like an unreal sunset on reality,
     the darkness creeped up and on.
I explained and waited.
      I hoped and I prayed.
             I reasoned with the unreasonable.
Only to find all my answers unwanted and ignored.
And still the blackness came...
Nothing I do,
seems to matter here in the void.
I love still as I watch your eyes empty.
And love still as I see the madness burn up from behind...