I Don't Know You

I don't know you.
Yet your anger did fall, with a crash.
There was no one home you see...
When the glass shattered.
Shards sparking in the light of day.

I don't know you.
But, I fear you.
You violated my sanctuary.
Sending the essence of safety,
(that had been so carefully cultivated
and nourished) flying away...
Your stones broke my security
and shattered my peace of mind.

I don't know you.
But now I hear you in the dark.
I see you as the branches brush the moonlight.
I can taste your hatred and loathing.
Sitting in the dark, amidst shattered sleep,
I await your return.

I don't know you.
Yet, here and now...
I wish I did.

Light Will Find Me

So Cold
     So Tight
          This Winter's grip...

Frozen,
or so it seems.
     Unable to move forward.
     Unable to find the Light.
          Icy earth holds me fast.

Yet the promise rings true.
Light will find me
     if I but ask...
Bringing freedom of movement
     and
a tearing loose of the tightness
          and darkness of frigid Winter.

The year wheel turns,
     bringing with it all I
hoped and dreamed.

And with a whisper from my lips...
     the Sun rises
          in a flash of Joy.
The promise is fulfilled.
     My Spring has come
          and I am cold no more.

Paint Your Future

Here you are, at the dawn of yet another cruel day.
There is enough pain.
The jar of anger overflows and spills into tomorrow.
They hurt you.
(Oh, how they hurt you!)
Tears and sorrow are the paint you use to create your day.
Your rage is justified.
But is it wise?
"Love one another", the wise one said.
And how true it is.
In loving, the pain flowers and becomes joy.
In forgiveness, the anger is poured into the wind
and becomes peace.
Sorrow and tears change their hue.
Allowing you to paint a bright and beautiful day.
So all that remains is a choice...
What will you use to paint your future?
Hanging on to the pain and anger of yesterday.
Or bravely letting go,
and loving the sun as it rises.
Choose wisely.

Haunted Still I Am

I am haunted by you.

Whispers of hope seem to dream on the wind,

calling a name I can't quite hear.

We have never meet.

(At least that is what I have assumed.)

Haunted as I am,

seeing the way others have found what was missing.

Seeing it in the eyes of those

who love.

I have longed and waited,

hunted and searched,

but still you have alluded me.

I can't escape the fear of need, 

the feeling I am somehow I am not complete.

Standing inside my foolishness, 

I fall forward into the rush.

I unwrap the gifts of lonelyness

and loss.

And still you haunt me.

The nightmare of all this, lines itself ups.

Like chessmen across from my hopes and dreams

Yet my hopes still win.

It wins still...

And still it wins.

Haunted still I am by those whisper on the wind.

So hope I will, 

and hunt
the dream.

The Door...

I use to care and hope but...
The tears have dried.
Trying to find a way in, I stood knocking at your door.
There was no one there.

So...
I moved on into the bright and shiny now.
Wanting it to be different won't change the pain.
My love for you beated on a door unopened.
The piles of all our hopes are scattered like last fall's leaves.

My sibling still knocks.
I stand in the cold knowing she has come in vain once again.
But still she knocks...
Her heart is strong and large.
She will knock and knock again...
But the door will not open.
Many have tried and failed, she is not alone.

Sometime, I fear this door was locked,
long before I got here.
Damaged as it was,
in some past place I know nothing about.
And then I wonder if I only knock louder it might finally open?
Maybe this time I will be heard.
Maybe this time the door will open.

But...
It does not.
I use to care and hope but...
The tears have dried.

Fold and Bend

This movement is to produce forward flow.

Struggling, as I am against the rhythm,

the beat is not as it was meant to be.

He brings me to self-improvement, I am somewhat unwilling.

Yet to the mat I go...

I am poured into warrior and downward dog.

I fold and bend into shapes unfamiliar.

My level of embarrassment reaches a point near overload.

Yet, at the mat I move into a form unknown...

I hear her voice as it leads us forward into gravity's pull.

Longing for this to end.

Wishing that none of this was necessary for my well being.

Falling, failing and losing sight of why.

Yet I land upon the mat and rise once again...

Stretching forward and pulling back, I become a fraction more liquid.

Relaxed? No not at all...

But knowing he was right and that this will shape me into more.

So to the mat I go...

With eyes blinded by sweat and my breath racing.

I pour myself forward into a rhythm I fight against.

Searching for the flow that was promised.

In the hope that willingness will come.

Being Fates Bitch

Different and backwards

I find myself longing for all the 

wrong things.

Being Fates bitch,

as I always am...

The world turns sideways into a 

feeling I can't explain.

I am no longer just a witness to disaster, 

I have becomes it architect.

Soundless and sightless

and breathless and thoughtless

the wind takes me to where

I need to be.

Tempted by a longing for a want to move

sideways carelessly into

yesterday.

My longing is now a primal force

that moves me from noon

into twilight.

With a calm like angst 

and a determination to burn

I become an idol to all that I should not be.

The passion and rapture

of this moment finally drives me smiling

into the abyss I was longing for.