Not a Slave

It's painful and humbling, this sudden flash of knowing.
Not that I didn't know.
I just couldn't see...

All is at a stop as I turn to pick up the pieces.
So many things broken, so many things lost.
Haunted by a hunger and a want now denied...

They had been telling me for years now.
Those who know me best.
That this would destroy me.

Yet I refused to listen...
(I really didn't want to.)

And so I went from one disaster to another.
Slowly losing myself along the way.
There is no one to blame but myself.
And no one to fix it but me...

So I fell flat and broke apart once again.
But it was one time to many.
And as if by magic, all the thing that had been said were heard.

I am stronger then this weakening need.
I am more then what is in that glass.
I will be my own master and not a slave to it...

So after a long and terrifying run, I say good-by.
Stepping into a future of sobriety.
Scared as hell, yet hopeful all the same.
Picking up the pieces, shaking off the dust and stepping into life.

And look... The future awaits....