What I Behold

There is a certain anger that builds...
I have tried and tried again
to let it loose.
Failing each and every time...
For hours unnumbered I blamed myself.
Seeing myself as cause and effect.
Fearing, I hadn't tried hard enough.
Worrying, that I didn't do all I could.
To make this work!
Yet the evidence suggests that the
reality of this is much different
then what I behold...
Who is it that failed?
I gave till it bleed and burned!
I altered the very core of being
in a attempt to make all well...
Yet?
Nothing changed.
My own failure was thinking it might.
So now I cut the ties that bind
and move on...
Feeling that it might have been
different...
If only you had really cared.